Hi Winnie Kay
I carefully read your story, here is my review. Congratulations on your three years with WDC.
Please remember, I'm a writer just like you and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.

OVERALL SENSE: WOW! This is quite interesting and I learned something about crows that I didn't know before. A group of them is called a murder. Creepy! That crow with the mangled foot kept appearing a lot throughout this priest's life, and I was wondering what gives? How long does a crow live? A little mystery at play here and I was imagining all kinds of ways this story was going to go. I was wrong on all counts.

         TITLE: "A Murder of Crows" is the title of this fascinating story and it fits the storyline.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style is of dark fiction and the voice stays strongly with the priest as he visits his mother's grave and thinks back to the time he was a boy. Then later at the hospital room where she was fighting for her life and he sees that crow again. He takes it as a sign of hope but to no avail.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place at a cemetery where the priest is visiting his mother's grave. As he's walking a murder of crows settle in the tree next to the grave he's visiting.

         CHARACTERS: The characters mentioned are Father Joe and the teenaged caretaker of the graveyard, Norman Hobbs.

         PLOT: The plot revolves around the priest, his life, his losses and how he became a priest. It seems as though whenever bad things happen to him, this crow with a mangled foot is there witnessing his sadness. It happened when his father went off a icy road and died, it happened when his mother pass on and now at the grave site, looking at his mother's gravestone. This blackbird is there watching him alone, perched on a statue of St. Michael while the other blackbirds are perched in the tree nearby.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING: I didn't find any errors.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE

         LIKES: I liked how you plotted out this story, with the blackbird and the old wives tale behind them. Very eerily done and how it all fits together somehow.

         DISLIKES: I didn't find nothing to dislike.

FAVORITE LINE(S): Oh, yes, I do have some favorite line, many as a matter of fact. But I can only pick one, so I have highlighted two of them. I'll first quote you and then I'll comment on how it affected me and how it adds to the story.

          QUOTE HERE: The sky was covered with them, allowing the sun to flash in strobe-like fashion as their wings pumped the hot afternoon air. I thought it odd that the black, cawing cloud seemed to follow a flight plan consistent with the path I took from my rectory.

          My Comment: What an opening to your story! I was beginning to think of Hitchcock movie, "The Birds" where there were many flocks of birds. Crows can get to be a humongous size and they have always given me the creeps. Well, they sure were weaved into this story where they became symbolic in Father Joe's life. They're following him, Why? You just know something is going to happen and it's not going to be good.

          QUOTE HERE: “Those are crows, and a flock of crows is called a ‘murder.’ The name is based on an old folk tale arising from a story that crows hold trials of evil doers among their flock. If convicted of their crimes, the accused is murdered by his peers.”

          My Comment: This I found these sentences very interesting and a little hint of what is to come later in your story. Some of these living creatures on earth have their own rituals and I guess the crow is no different.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: I find old wives tales fascinating and always have. They don't just spout nonsense, I really think there is some truth to it. Very well told story! Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece.




Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie