Hi Kitty Can Write
I carefully read your story, here is my review. Being I goofed up on my last review to you, I'm sending you another review, the one I meant to send you on wishing you a "Happy Anniversary of two years with WDC." The other review was for a shower with "The Grammar Garden's Gardeners"  of which you aren't signed up for. Sorry!
Well, you got two reviews from me so I'm hoping that's a good thing. Please remember, I'm a writer just like you and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.

OVERALL SENSE: This story speaks from the heart. When romances end for many reasons, it can be hard. If this happened to you and this man hurt you as he did, he doesn't deserve you. You seemed to gather yourself together nicely and move on. Sometimes there are these people who show two sides, one that you fell in love with and the other side that is cruel. This is written very poetically as you reveal this side of the person that you love.

         TITLE: "The Man I Thought You Were" is the title to this story.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style is very emotional while the voice takes you along the path of falling in love to finding out what this person is all about. Then you realize everything was built on lies and who can live that way.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place in this authors mind. She remembers how it was and how it is now. She decides to leave this relationship that is giving more pain than love. This is not a good recipe for happiness.

         CHARACTERS: The author and her memories of a man that showed his true colors.

         PLOT: Relationships are so fun to begin with, they're new and you're in love for the first time. You're happy but as the days or weeks go by, more and more of his true colors are showing. You find out in a hurry that this beautiful, wonderful man is gone and what is left leaves you unhappy.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING: I found no errors.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE

         LIKES: I love the poetic way you wrote this. Sometimes the best pieces are written when you go through these bad relationships. Not that you want to, but sometimes that is how your life is, it takes these turns that leave you feeling unloved and undesirable. Will there ever be another or am I left with these memories?

         DISLIKES: I found nothing to dislike.

FAVORITE LINE(S): Yes, I did find some lines I found very endearing. I'll highlight the ones that I feel leave an emotional trail and I'll comment on why this reader can relate.

          QUOTE HERE: I want you to know that I don’t need you anymore. Not even a little bit. Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard our death rattle tear open the silence of dark, and suddenly I could breathe again – and you weren’t there. You weren’t even on my mind.

          My Comment: This is quite a way of saying I don’t need you anymore. Our relationship is done, dead to me and I'm moving on, getting on with my life. I don't understand these men who think they can treat a woman this way and she'll always be there for him. Where does he get off thinking this way?

          QUOTE HERE: You were my drug. I picked out your bad parts, your seeds, and looked passed your flaws. I packed you neatly into the reservoir I thought you fit in and smiled at the white picket fence of our future. I lit the tiny particles of you, breathing you in, feeling you fill me -- feeling you pulse inside of me. You cracked and sizzled in my lungs, making me experience life in ways I never knew I could…

          My Comment: This is quite a way of expressing on how you dealt with this man. Unfortunately this is how these men get by with how they can treat woman. Looking pass their flaws is not a way a woman should live and later on you begin to realize this.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: This story is full of emotion. There are way too many of these kinds of men out there. My daughter happened to get trapped in this kind of marriage where she thought he’s so wonderful to begin with. Then later on down the road she began to find out that her life if a lie. I'm not happy and I’m tired of smiling as if I am. He's not what I thought he would be and it’s time to leave. Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece.




Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie