Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Birthday

Overall impression of piece There is a lot here. I do not have to tell you to be more graphic. Yes, it is well done. Seems to flow together pretty well in that I can tell why you wrote this.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Punctuation seems to be an optional thing. this is especially true in your song vaerses. If you don't know, guess. Someof the quotes start, but do not end. Starlight is apparently a title. I think quote marks and a comma need to set it off.


What I liked? I got kind of the creeps reading this. We have all gone through parts of town like this. I hope the care doesn't break down. I certainly wouldn't want to stop. I got lost there because the gps technology and I really didn't synch too well. This is truly a great conclusion and way of summing up. things mean something. If they don't, I am not sure why they were written

What I disliked I eye witnessed seems redundant. Kind of an excessive use of the... grammar punctuation I am at a loss of your music choice. this may be a generational kind of thing, but it doesn't resonate with me. Seems a litle confusing to me. I read about the silouette of a doll's head, but she still has heres and I assume everything is still in the other lane. I think we need more detail to put this together. You know all the details, but as a reader, I am not sure I do.

How the piece made me feel: I echo your thoughts and feels very closely. It resonates with me. Damage of a few minimeters in diameter can kill you. Life is a lot more fragile than most think

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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