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Review #3825257
Viewing a review of:
Disappearing Act  [E]
War games for parents.
by Jeff
Review of Disappearing Act  
Review by Noyoki
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Jeff ,

My Thoughts:

*Giggles* I have a 2 year old son, and I can see this in my future. Right now he's still doing his own thing, but he's nearing the age where such games will be played and this gave a funny, yet slightly terrifying, view of what I have to look forward to.

My Favorite Part:

The End. "Vengeance will be mine!!!" That was a perfect end to the story, humor and revenge all bound up into one neat little package. I've seen a number of divorces where parents use their children to get back at each other, but usually it is in a very cruel and vindictive way. I like how you were able to bring that into this story, but in a kinder more light hearted way. Great job!

My Suggestions:

The line 'Thomas was something of a disappearing act' sounds a little off to me. Maybe change it to Thomas was something of a magician, he could vanish at will, might work better.

Because of my own son, this story hit on my personal background and I enjoyed it all the more for that. Thank you for sharing your wonderful work with all of us!

Thank you,

~Noyoki

Write On!!


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 12:57pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825257