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Review #3825271
Viewing a review of:
Location, Location, Location  [ASR]
No wonder it was such a bargain...
by Jeff
Review by Noyoki
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Jeff

My Thoughts:

Nice! In less than 100 words you were able to capture a unique and terrible truth that plagues the world as we know it. The devious skill and super evil talents of realtors and how they can make us buy anything if given enough time.

My Favorite Part:

That the subject of this flash fiction was a super villain. We always see them in movies, and ohh and ahh over their secret compounds. Always so high tech and seemingly impenetrable or inescapable. What we never get a chance to see is how those places are found and constructed. I think you captured this concept well. How many secret hide outs failed before we get to that final version?

My Suggestions:

One confusing part is in the first part, you go from the conference room, to your bed sinking into magma. It makes it sound like the bed was in the conference room, maybe change to my bedroom had already been consumed by magma, or something like that.

This was a fun read, and something that could be built upon sometime in the future if you're ever inclined to do so. I would enjoy reading a full length story featuring this character. Even though I am only given a small taste of him here, I like him and want to know more.

Thank you,

~Noyoki

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 12:59pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825271