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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825506
Review #3825506
Viewing a review of:
 Castles in the Sand  [E]
Rhythm & Rhyme Contest Entry - Jun 2010 - Tri-Fall Form
by Jeff
Review by Winn Storm
In affiliation with The Sisterhood of Mom's  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Buttonr* First Impression
         I thought I would continue with the beach theme. We have long winters in Canada and I'm missing summer. I'm so glad you post the explanations of the poetry form you've used. It makes is easier for an ill-informed poet like myself to feel comfortable sharing my thoughts. I've never been to a sand castle competition but I was able to picture it in my mind.

*Buttono* Favorite line
         The title is what caught my eye, it's sort of a whimsical yet complete accurate title. Also I like your rhyme serious and delirious. It brought a smile to my face as I pictured a grown man playing in the sand, determined to win.

*Buttong* Suggestions
         I can't think of any improvements for your piece. I'm not sure I would use the form myself. I might find it stifling, but you did very well with it.

*Buttonb* Final Thoughts
         Another very well written piece with the power to transport the reader. Thanks so much.

*Buttonv* Rating
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