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Review #3825582
Viewing a review of:
 Seven Sins  [13+]
Each of the sins a stanza Wrath Greed Lust Pride Gluttony Envy Sloth
by Morgan Faere 2
Review of Seven Sins  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hi Morgan Faere 2 -

As a newer member of this site, I wanted to take a moment to welcome you to Writing.Com. Today is actually my 10th anniversary of being a member here, and I'm celebrating by hosting "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala"  and giving away several prizes throughout the day. I've selected you as a recipient of one of 10 reviews I'm handing out today, which also comes with 10,000 Gift Points for you to spend as you please. *Smile*

I'm enclosing the following review for your consideration, but please keep in mind that these comments are my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of them as you see fit.


WHAT WORKED

*Bullet* I really loved the structure of this poem. You have an opening and closing stanza and, in between, each of the other stanzas focuses on one of the seven deadly sins. Really great, easy-to-follow and clever structure. *Thumbsup*


WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

*Bullet* TYPO: "A light touch, [passion's] fortune"

*Bullet* TYPO: "Just keep the [desserts] coming"

*Bullet* This is just a personal suggestion, but I wasn't able to decipher any discernible structure to the stanzas themselves. I think it would be great to have a structure to the stanzas themselves; in an item with a clear overall structure like the one you've got, it would be a wonderful little detail to have the stanzas themselves mirror that structure and add another layer of intricacy to this already intriguing item.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really liked the premise and the content. The structure of the piece as a whole was great and it was an engaging, entertaining poem. Well done! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material, and again, welcome to Writing.Com! If you'd like to introduce yourself over at "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" , please feel free to click on the link or the image at the bottom of this review and stop by to say hello! *Bigsmile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


SoCalScribe

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 

Logo for SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala activity.


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