Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Birthday

Overall impression of piece: This is written with a lot of sweetness and a lot of wisdom. I used to think I would be known from my work, until they found a way to fire me because they didn't like me. Life is complicated. I thought I still had a lot to offer the world, and found out that thinkers are really not held in high repute. I think your piece was just what I needed to read at this time. We are known for our families and what we meant to them. Boris Pasternak said in Dr Zivalgo, "No one ever dies. We live on in the minds and hearts of those who loved us."

Grammatical and spelling errors: Technically a double negative, but it works It seems awkward. Since you have it earlier, maybe it should be deleted.

What I liked? There is a call for perspective here. Reading this I see a lot of passive voice, but again that works. It is mixed with a lot of active things about family. I think we look at things that are really important with an active interest and kind of summarize things with boring words. Boring works in introspection. Great answer from the wife. In part, we are defined by those who love us.

What I disliked: don't really do anything to break the dicotomy between an observed passive life and an active life that can be held on to. I would think about ending it with love swelling up and hoding her with a lifetime of relationship and life. Of course you have to write this.

How the piece made me feel: this is a piece about ultimate issues. I see by your bio and pictures, that you get this. You didn['t get those gray hairs for nothin'. I think like can be active around us and we can react passively. It is probably our curse and humans. Nice piece. Happy Birthday

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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