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Review #3877698
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Review by Grace♥Leo...
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Happy WDC Anniversary


*Vignette5*The Heart of the Story/Poem:
A sister and an older brother's friend make peace with each other and become more than friends in the end.

*Vignette5*Things That Might Make It Better:
What is the sister's name? The only thing I suggest is to give the sister more feelings or just a hint at having some softer tender feelings for Sean.

*Vignette5*Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I suggest a comma after the word there in this sentence. You wrote: There all competence ceased. In this sentence I believe you meant "I" instead of it. You wrote: “Sure, it get it: we just...walk back through all that bush.”

*Star*Things I Like:
A roller coaster of a ride in this story.I love the mouth-to-mouth line. A wonderful tweener story. A happy ending, yet gets the message across about kayaking alone and to know the currents before striking out.

I have read many of your works. You are so creative and write very well. Keep writing!

Grace L


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