G'day Doremi
I'm reviewing "Time"  as a Graduate member of "Invalid Item" 

Overview:
A well rounded complete short story with an enjoyable reminisce, drawing to a pleasurable close with motherly advice that could apply to any relationship or family situation.

Title & Blurb:
The single word title is simple and I feel just right. The blurb is fine and gives a brief explanation of the story subject, allowing quick reference as to wether a reviewer wants to read on. This story would appeal to all mothers but may narrow that appeal a little away from other readers.

Narrative Hook:
Apart from the blurb, I feel the words "Julie came home all excited" spurred me on to read through, although I brought up your story by clicking on random review, I was still pulled along a little to keep reading.

Plot
Valuable family advice of the sort with universal appeal, you have kept it simple, direct and put across some of the excitement and dismayed yearning, the clearer value that you learnt that day, seeing her in that dress and realising how soon she would be all grown up. You realised that time moves on for us all, and I can relate to this first hand with 2 sons about to leave home and a daughter who will get her car licence in a year or so.

Story message:
Where does time go? And how soon we realise that those who were our "old folks" have passed away and we ourselves are the "new old folks". The brevity of life isn't always so clear when you are young, healthy and have a bright future in front of you.
This is a reminder that no one can put any trust in their future. Today may be our last. Yes, it's a little morbid talking about it like that, but a valuable bit of wisdom to heed.

Scenery / setting:
Realistic scenery and setting, what there was, and you've done well to get across the whole picture enough to grasp your message.

This short story is a conversation in the mother's mind, not a novel! It's just right I feel.

Linking / Flow:
Each paragraph flows well and the story is smooth overall.

Point Of View:
The POV sits well and it's easy to imagine this being related to another person over a cup of coffee at the local cafe.

Characterisation:
A caring mother describing a daugther and a lesson of time moving so quickly. Adequate for the relevance, simple and nothing more needed.

Descriptiveness:
The lack of detailed descriptiveness, for example where you live and what country or any city name, rural location or even details on the peoples features beyond "pert young beauty" etc, I feel are good they way it has been done. This is because that leaves the story able to be applied to anyone, and as such, is put across as advisory.

You have said it's a mother's internal dialogue and it does feel like someone thinking all this to themselves. She already knows the descriptions and what you've described in the story is enough to feel like her real thoughts; trimmed down and basic without too much detail.

Story Strengths:

Written in a way that it has to be first hand experience and a scene painted in words that must be factual.
Simple and to the point.

A real life lesson put across in a way that the reader listens and most likely agrees. We've all felt the speed that time goes by, our lives racing to a close, particularly once we've married and had children.
"They will begin their own life and start the circle all over again." you wrote and this is an accurate description of how life really is.

The love of a mother for her daughter and the mother's admiration of her daughters beauty, even dare I say, the mother's bias comes through clearly in your story.

The ending leaves the reader thinking, pondering further on from this story and your repetition in the final words encourages an emphasis in the readers mind. The speed of time going by, children growing up way too soon and if we don't take notice, it will be too late to get to know them, relate to them and vice versa.

Suggestions:

To broaden the appeal of the story to those besides mothers, you could revise the blurb, reword it to add some spice to an otherwise quality, but somewhat bland piece.

Perhaps this piece, since it is not intended to be a thriller or a mystery but just homely advice to all people to value time with loved ones, for that reason you may not need to make it too "amazingly appealing".

But I just feel if you blurbed it something like; "A vital lesson for us all" or perhaps less school marmish would be; "Don't leave me so soon!" Please don't grow up!"

Punctuation, Spelling & Grammar:

Just a couple minor things;

I'd replace the word "gotten" in the second line with "scored" or "was chosen for"
You could perhaps make an alteration here, "I don't want to wake up some day, and discover it all passed me by and I'd missed it!"

I'm happy to rerate should you make any changes. Just let me know.

Many thanks for sharing your work and your valuable efforts writing this piece. My comments and suggestions are only intended to help you grow as a writer so please use them as you wish.

As I look back over "Time" , I wonder if I come across as too critical, in my efforts to advise? Please accept my apologies if you feel that way about this review.
Please note that my spelling is Australian (if it's not misspelt that is, in case you wonder why I write "colour" instead of "color" for example.

I'm still learning to do this stuff, just the same as all of us. With that in mind, let's go forward into the future together as a team.

Sparky
THE PDG Rockin Reviewers Group
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"When you write in prose, you cook the rice. When you write poetry, you turn rice into rice wine. Cooked rice doesn't change its shape, but rice wine changes both in quality and shape. Cooked rice makes one full so one can live out one's life span . . . wine, on the other hand, makes one drunk, makes the sad happy, and the happy sad. Its effect is sublimely beyond explanation." - Wu Qiao


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .