"Invalid Item" 

Initial Reaction

Hello, my name is Tim and I would like to offer the following reviewing on The Vandal.

I found myself drawn to this vandal, one who may have gotten into minor trouble every now and again but capable of being influenced by another to cause unintended pain. I too was easily influenced until I met the boy who would end up being the best man at my wedding.

Characters

The prep-teen adolescent presented here was superbly depicted. As we grow through our pubescent stage we often find ourselves trying to fit into any situation we find ourselves. Even if it is one that lasts only a short time, we don’t want the mischief-makers to think we are cowards so we allow ourselves to do things that we normally wouldn’t, things that we know at the time are wrong. Yet, we still allow these bullies, and yes, one that intimidates you to act in a contrary way is a bully, we allow these bullies to influence us.
I don't even remember Mr. Fontaine or Mrs. Norton being alerted, or what happened in between, this is another aspect of growing up. We don’t remember the actions of people that react in an expected way, Mrs. Norton was known for being a bitch and so probably responded to the insult as could be anticipated. But Miss Bright was a teacher I actually liked. She sounds like she was a nice person that treated the students well, so her reaction the tears came to what sounded like an innocent phrase to a sixth grader stands out, even to this day.

Setting

Ah, childhood, or more properly, our memories of childhood. Growing up and coming of age. So very hard to capture on paper that which helped form us. Make us who we are today. Too often we have trouble describing our adolescence even in our own minds and yet you drew such an accurate picture that I could see similar scenes to my own.

Grammar and Punctuation

While the only error I saw here is not truly a punctuation error I am unsure where to put it. I am also certain that it is a simple typo but in the fourteenth paragraph a space is missing in Bright Bottomanyways for Bright Bottom anyways.

Spelling
There were no spelling errors in this biography.

Word Choices
In the second paragraph your I remember watching him sit backwards on his chair, his legs to both sides and arms rested atop the back with the word watching would normally change the ending phrase to arms resting atop the back. While grammatically there is no actual error I believe this makes the word flow more natural.

In the fifth paragraph your phrase loafers he’d wear everyday the correct usage here should be loafers he’d wear every day. This is a common error among writers and most readers do not pick up on it. An easy to test for this is replace it with each day. If this simple replacement will work in the sentence then every day is the appropriate choice, if the replacement does not work then everyday is the correct word.

This is the same mistake three paragraphs later with came to work everyday to help which should read came to work every day to help.

The fourteenth paragraph contains the anyways which is a nonstandard word for the adverb anyway. You may have intentionally used this word because it is nonstandard and you are reminiscing about an event that occurred to an eleven year-old.

Thoughts and Ideas

You began the story by telling of an incident that caused pain and misery to the teacher. Showing how words can hurt worse than physical abuse. Giving proof to the lie of Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.

You finished by showing fate or destiny or call it what you will steps in and shows us the our future. The narrator discovered love for the unknown other stringed instrument the primary for the Brandenburg Concerto No. 6.

Could this romance have been discovered upon another road, yes. But would the person be the same, the answer is more than a simple no. Each action we take reverberates along the strings of our life changing us forever.

Closing Comments
Thank you for sharing such a powerful work. For reminding us that every action we take will stay with us for the rest of our lives. And every word we say or left unsaid, thing we do or left undone, every smile and frown affects not only us but those around us


This review is being made on behalf of "Invalid Item"  with a belated Happy Birthday.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .