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 Review #3893277 |
 WDC POWERFUL REVIEW A NEWBIE REVIEW  WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU  Group/purpose: I am reviewing your work as a PDG member graduate of the Rockin' Review Academy! And a Power Reviewers group member. Title: Failure got my attention because I had at one time thought of myself as a failure. Also, you are interested in learning from reviews and requested constructive criticism. I will be pleased to honor your request and help you learn from this review especially for you and advancing your writing abilities and talents. Also, I'm not certain how much this is about failure as it is about victory! Description: A narrative of a time I failed and how I learned from it. I'd love constructive criticism! This caused me to really take notice because I realized, that either you and people you know were being challenged by circumstances not understood and therefore were not appropriately responded to at the time. About having difficulties; whenever I am able, I try to help whoever is in need of support and assistance. Picture You painted a good word picture of despair and loneliness. I had no trouble imagining what you or some other person or even me would be feeling and going through under these circumstances. These and other feelings permeated the situation and caused people to think and act differently from the ways they should have responder to these harrowing events which no one understood. The picture is very vivid and the feelings from the word picture add to the fullness of this story.  PORTFOLIO VISIT CaptJKirk Since August 28, 2013 1 Community Recognitions Congratulations! on being a new member here at WDC and for your community recognition. Me thinks ye bee a Star Trek fan! Your name is the reason for my comment, so let me know about you and Star Trek. I watched it when I was on TV and saw some of the movies. I hope you will fill in your biography by clicking the link at the top of your portfolio page; tabs:Third tab from the left.  I LIKE What and why: The courage and fullness of the details about the main event and sub events made this a wonderful story which is a journey in education. I enjoyed the details because they give clues to what a person should and should not do in this and similar situations. The honesty, feelings, turths about all details and events make this story an adventure into learning how to face deamons of life and how to deal with problems that a person would rather ignore. plot: The plot is amazingly life like and full of mini events all of which affect the people involved. This is stranger than fiction; and because it is true, has the potential to be worked into an awesome fictional full length story or a true story with a huge amount of history. When the time comes you may want to consider writing your memoirs and sharing with readers many events, history, how-to's, and similar things woven into your story. Theme:underlying meaning/message This is a good how not to get carried away emotionally and remember to look at all possible events inside you as well as outside. Being mindful of look before you leap seems to go along well with this story. Also, Having courage, discernment, and being brave so that things can be faced and straightened out is woven well into this word picture of real life within the family. Rhythm/pace: My reading experience went very well. Having enough action along with reaction went well and also helped the story move along very nicely. The only issue was the slight glitches because of typos or misspellings which I will tell you about later. I definitely was not bored or left wondering where I was and what was happening. The rhythm and pace was just the right reading dance for me, thank you.  OBSERVATION(S) Writer's Purpose I believe this story was written as an exercise for you to make sense of everything that happened as well as share with readers knowledge and how you managed to survive these events without doing something regrettable and without losing your family. It also seemed that you were making peace with you and what happened while writing your confession. Conflict:more/less The family especially you seemed to be wrapped up in conflict. The challenge of your idol; keeping connected, dealing with the reactions of your family members, having all of their and your emotions going strong and ravaging everyone is plenty of conflict. It seemed like war of the mind, spirit, emotions, physical, and spiritual was going on in everyone. This was a struggle for survival and a how to survive action packed situation. I very much could see the events and feel the inside activity through your word picture as if I was watching a movie. I'd rather read! CHARACTERS Emotion, survival, conflict, and the actions and in-actions are characters to behold in this colorful event. You and your family members were moving to the beat of protecting and evading like it was a world war. This is very believable and a good action packed story. I agree that all of the characters are very much alive and interesting. They had many different voices and move differently but the main idea they have are to protect or survive and keep connections. Your family wanted to protect and you wanted to be connected. Believability All of the characters are believable because you showed the spiritual, emotional, and family interactions wrapped in real life truths. The actions and incations were based on true life and spiritual experiences, so certainly i was living the action through your colorful words. Yes, I can believe this story.  QUESTION(S) How are you doing now? I hope all ties are strong and the you and your family are doing well together. Do you know that this story may help other families have understanding of their members and that because you wrote this, you may save a life as well as relationships?  SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: Be strong, mind your mind, and have the courage to share wisdom. My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you: I had nearly every quality of a kind of person I had no desire to be. I would make a change similar to: I had no desire to have nearly every quality of a kind of person trapped in, who I didn't want to be. I could feel how you were trapped and this is why I think it would help the reader know of a surety how trapped you were in this paralysis situation. I felt as if I had no good recourse. The angrier and sadder I became, the more the situation worsened. As the situation worsened because I felt I had no recourse, I became angrier and sadder, and further removed from my family.This seems to me to have more color and drama, so I thought I'd make this suggestion and see what you think.  CONCLUSION(S) You have a wonderful writing voice which adds much to this true story, thank you for allowing me to read and review for you. My thoughts and Impressions: H.G. Wells quote, “If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.”That really lifted my spirit, thank you for including this quote in your story. PLEASE KEEP WRITING and enjoying WDC. HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"    The "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" are out and about WDC today raiding the ports of WDC members to review for you! Please enjoy! You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS" [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.  ** Image ID #1533880 Unavailable ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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