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Review #3920240
Viewing a review of:
 
R.A.G.E.  [NPL]
Resisting All Gods Emotions
by A*Monaing*Faith
Review of R.A.G.E.  
Review by PatrickB
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: NPL | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Umbrellab* Greetings, A*Monaing*Faith *Umbrellab*
This review is part of your shower from "Invalid Item" !

It is my privilege to review "R.A.G.E." .
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only one person's opinion.
Take what you can use but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.
Most important of all, keep writing, improving, and contributing to our wonderful community!

OVERALL:
I chose to review this idea because you need some prompting. You have a great idea for an acrostic poem, but the idea is just hanging around waiting to be realized. Acrostics are some of my favourite word-games, and I have created a poetry-form which helps to compare and contrast certain concepts or things that have some interconnected relationship. I call it "Invalid Item" , and it takes two concepts like you have -- "Rage" and "Peace" -- and uses a middle section to compare the two like a VENN diagram. The middle section is always the word SYMBIOTIC. Anyway, when I saw this in your portfolio, I was very disappointed that you had not gone ahead and brought the idea to fruition. I noticed that a lot as I was browsing your portfolio. You seem like a very talented and hard-working young woman. Unfortunately, there is not much that you offer us to see how good of a writer you are, just a collection of ideas that have very little architecture. I offer this not as a criticism, my friend, but as a gentle prodding. Give us something that's finished! It can start right here, with this idea, because it's a very good one. In fact, I will review this poem for you if you write it, to make up for the fact that this is not a proper review in the traditional sense. Take your two words and write your acrostic. Think about how the words are different and how they are the same. Use these distinctions to color your poem with a unique way of looking at the subjects. Also, if you are so minded, feel free to have a look at my article and morph your acrostic into the same form I propose. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you continue to develop your writing in all areas, and especially in providing all of us with something finished that reveals your talent and style. *Smile*

Regards,
PatrickB
Creator of The Art of Criticism,
co-founder of Passionate Mindscapes,
and proud member of Simply Positive, Reviewing Reviewers,
The Novel Workshop, The Paper Doll Gang, Rising Stars, and Showering Acts of Joy.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/14/2013 @ 9:43am EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3920240