Hi Kellie Saberhagen
 
I selected your story "The Seaside"  to review through the Read a Newbie Forum of WdC.
It is my pleasure to welcome you to Writing.com where I believe you will find wonderful support for all of your work.
 
It enjoyed the heartfelt writing in your story and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your piece as well as a short review.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
 
Tommy is challenged to face his fear of the sea. His fear is a fact he does his best to conceal from his mother. But he is provoked to do more than day dream on the sandy shore.   All at once, as though reading his mind, his mother nudged him, waking him from his daydream.But he is not easily persuaded and strives more valiantly to conceal the truth from his insistent mother.
Interest and Pace
 
I like the feel of your story, right from the beginning. The aspects around the sea and the people are vibrantly drawn. The sand, heat, skin colors, the coolness of the water, the feel and sound of the sea shell.
 
Structure and Clarity
The scene is richly developed and I am convinced of its reality and purpose for being. The interactions between mother and son are clear and naturally evolving. From the perspective of the son she is remote and seemingly careless. I sense easily his lack of trust and the fear that keeps him anchored to the beach.
 
I appreciate the shift in the story as Tommy overcomes his fears and sees for the first time that he can be for someone besides himself as he witnesses a stranger who appears to be his age give his sister an ice cream.
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There were a few incidental word and punctuation corrections that will be needed on a re-write but I did not think there was a need for any structural changes needed.

Recommended Edits ▼
 
Summary
 
It is important for Tommy to overcome his fear of the sea. In the process of overcoming his fear he gains enlightenment of how to be for another person than himself and is motivated to obtain a special wonder for his sister. It is nearly his first and last act of love.
 
I truly enjoyed your story. I appreciate your insights and thank you for sharing your gifts and talents.
 
~Kenword~
 
 
 
   This review is given in honor of:

FORUM

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .