Hello Weirdone-Back in the games ,

I am reviewing your work as a judge for "CLASH! "  [13+]. The following are all my opinions for you to heed or discard as you please.

Character:

What I like: The character sketch is informative and to the point. I prefer them like this so I can take only the basic information and learn the rest of the character in the story.

What I'd like to see improved upon: I was unsure of the point of the religious background. It made me expect some allegory or spiritual conflict in the story.


Story:

What I like: I like the dynamic of the brother vs brother conflict.

What I'd like to see improved upon:It's pretty solid as is. The only thing I found off-putting was the way the computer went from robotic to humanly conversational.


Good luck in the tournament.

Best regards,

Gary


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .