Hello lazymarionette,

I am reviewing your work as a judge for "CLASH! "  [13+]. The following are all my opinions for you to heed or discard as you please.

Character:

What I like: I like that she isn't a stereotypical heroine type. Her description makes me think there will be a lot of obstacles put before her unrelated to her being a butt-kicking warrior type.

What I'd like to see improved upon: There are a lot of redundant phrases in the descriptions.


Story:

What I like:I like the voice of the narration and the quirkiness of the characters.

What I'd like to see improved upon: Is her motivation for entering a race that could end her life to get back at an HOA? It just seems a little ridiculous to me, although it does fit the general tenor of the piece.


Good luck in the tournament.

Best regards,

Gary


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .