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 Review #3952708 |
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| (4.0)| A2WdC   This addicted 2 WdC review is just for you.  I am reviewing your work as a disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, as a PDG member graduate of the Rockin' Review Academy & "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  This review is given on behalf of "Showering Acts of Joy Group"  WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU  Group/purpose: This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability! Title: Pun Palooza at the Zoo-zait's falling precip, cloudy, and cold, so punny is exactly what I should read to add laughter to my day. Description: Visit the Zoo with this attempt at a punny letterzoozoo got my attention and is the main attraction for me reading your punny letter.  FIRST IMPRESSIONS Big smile and chuckle  I LIKE What and why: I like your zanie ideas because I can relate to what you wrote. The smile and chuckle helped raise my spirits and I thank you for this. plot: The plot is interesting and enjoyable like watching a funny movie in my mind. I could imagine most of the action. The part which is unfamiliar to me I will explain in another section of my review template because it fits better in this place. Your sense of humor is similar to mine, so I can very easily relate. Rhythm: I felt that the length of your story letter, which for me it was both, was just right. Not too much and not too little. While enjoying reading your word art, I felt relaxed, was able to read at the pace which suited me, and it seemed like I was on vacation enjoying the adventure. There were no bumps or glitches along the way which cause me to get lost and not find my way back to my smooth and comfortable reading experience.  OBSERVATION(S) There is a part which is foreign to me.  QUESTION(S) How did you come up with this idea, and what kind of mood were you in when you wrote these words? When did the cow jump over the moon is something similar to what you created. Are there any other ideas which could go with this or could be created into another story? Have you considered entering a comedy writing contest?  SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: Some of these comments may be because I have no understanding of the material or perhaps it is something unknown to me. My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you: In the opening part about being tramp-ol-ined and the elephants getting the cashews, I think of this as: Why did they do this and how did they manage to get the cashews? Where were you? Why were you there? I know this is supposed to be funny and punny, yet more details of a zanie nature would help to connect the action to the situation and give a more colorful picture about the who, what, why,when, and how of what was happening. There is mega potential to turn this story into a huge belly laugh. Your writing voice is wonderful and for me fits this story well. I wouldn't change your writing voice. I would whenever possible add more substance to this story so that it has a brighter and more colorful, action packed view of the events. I am a detail person, so keep this in mind when you consider my comments and suggestions. This of course is how I see things, feel about your writing, and think about how I would create this word art. I believe there is some room to tweak this story without taking away from your writing voice or changing it into something which wouldn't be you. I offer my point of view as something for you to think about and consider. I like having readers share with me their ideas because this often times helps me write better and improve upon the stories and other writings I poured my being into and shared with WdC members. ...can't be fair so he used the fairy to cross to me... In the second paragraph, I am not certain what you mean about these events. Did you accidentally leave out something? I would like to better understand this part of the story, so your help is greatly appreciated, thank you. The part about trudging through the streets and being full to the brim with iced walnuts, third paragraph, I had to read a few times to get the idea about how this should be read. I was able to imagine the event easily and enjoyed this entertainment within my head. Some punctuation may help the reader know how to read this part more effectively, than again, I may have been me not knowing and everyone else read it correctly for themselves. In the fourth paragraph about, ... S.M.I.L.E. down here. (That is, they love to Sing Mild In Loud E-flat). I have no idea what this is all about. An explanation of this would help me understand the meaning and significance of this information, thank you. I have no idea about what questions to ask because for me there is no information/background and so with nothing to go on I can not formulate any questions. If I don't know that I don't know, how am I going to know what to ask. Please help me to know and understand. (That is, they love to Sing Mild In Loud E-flat) what is the meaning of this? (Or I'll sick the Pen-guin pads on you...) Mouse pads, or something else?  CONCLUSION(S) Nice funny story. My thoughts and Impressions: So that you understand my views, I do not have satellite or cable TV. I don't watch TV even when the opportunity presents its self to me because I have other interests. I read mostly non fiction and usually based on true stories genera. Your story lifted my spirits, I chuckled and enjoyed the general idea. I could relate because I saw through your writing voice that we had a similar sense of humor. There is great potential for better understanding by me when you add additional information which will explain more about the things I am unfamiliar with or have no idea about. Thank you for writing your letter with this cute story, sharing it with readers, and allowing readers/me to review for you. You have a very creative ability and a good sense of humor. I hope you will write more stories and other genera. Safe travels and many blessings. This review is given on behalf of "Showering Acts of Joy Group"    Paper Doll Gang review, "Invalid Item" especially for you.   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"    The "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" are out in force today raiding the ports of WDC for WDC 13th anniversary! Please enjoy!  Welcome to WDC from all of us at "Invalid Item"  Join us for some coffee and conversation in the "Invalid Item" You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS" [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com. ** Image ID #1533880 Unavailable ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" The WDC Army Angels  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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