*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3956494
Review #3956494
Viewing a review of:
 Out  [13+]
55 word story about a secret
by Dawn Embers
Review of Out  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Review especially for you.
*UmbrellaR*This review is given on behalf of "Showering Acts of Joy Group*UmbrellaR*
SAJ

         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
OutShort title for very short story with a secret which it seems escapet out of someone or from somewhere.
Description:
55 word story about a secret which may be a mystery or unique story which I enjoy.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The dialog of the characters tells much about how they react to each other which for this short is good and necessary.

The two word secret and two word response i find fit well together and seem to be a downward climax that usually would invoke or evoke more excited discussion or cause a character to go off the deep end or in a rage. This being left to the reader to decide makes this short story live on in each readers mind demanding a reaction from the reader.
plot:
The surprise out is a surprise surprise and surprise ending with two words from each person in the conversation. Finding the answer to the mystery very quickly is a let down which goes with the let down of the story that seems to work well in tandem causing me to have the feeling of relief it ended like this and feeling it should have had more story to read and be written. I enjoy though the open ended unwritten story which the reader can create in the mind or use as writing fodder or inspiration.

You have a knack for writing very, very short stories.
Rhythm:
By necessity to tell this story you had to use short sentences which caused it to move very quickly. I found this fast rhythm to give me a hint of the possible stress or quick pumping heart beats, or fast movement of the conversation of the participants. My reaction I believe is exactly what the structure of the rhythm of this story was supposed to create within the reader.
         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Fast story telling and fast escaped secret equals a quick response from characters and reader, this is very quick.
         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Not right now, perhaps later.
         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*
The italicized words were challenging to read, yet I understand this helped show the characters involved.

I mention this because there are people who have very limited vision like me (legally blind) who enjoy reading and so I suggest below a possible solution to this challenge.
My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Using dark color for the fonts to show the different characters involved may be an option for another very, very short story.
*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*

Cherish your gift for writing and share it with readers.
My thoughts and Impressions:
I enjoyed reading and reviewing for you.
Safe travels and many blessings.
*ThumbsUp*

*UmbrellaR*This review is given on behalf of "Showering Acts of Joy Group*UmbrellaR*
SAJ




*Burstp*

*StarY* Welcome to WDC from all of us at "Invalid Item *StarY*

*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Invalid Item through "Invalid Item *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.



My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/19/2014 @ 6:38pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3956494