%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #3962030 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.5)| Review especially for you.  This review is given on behalf of "Showering Acts of Joy Group"  WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU  Group/purpose: This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability! Title: DRY ICE AND JESUSDry ice is useful and Jesus is awesome and my savior, so I was curious about the title and what treasures I may find when I read your word art. Description: During World War II, Mom read Bible stories to us and took us to the church in our school.My father fought during the war and I attended church in a school, so there are some things I can relate to.b I will probable enjoy reading this writing, and most likely be full of joy during this process. I will read this word art.  FIRST IMPRESSIONS Super awesome; glory to God!  I LIKE What and why: It is awesome to read that you found the path through seeing your young mother trusting and believing in Jesus, to open your heart to Him and invite His to be your savior. My heart if full of joy because you decided to stay at church even though there would be no store bought ice cream. You made the decision to stay for God, great! Joy and happiness fill me and, I'm thrilled that after asking for forgiveness for your sins, you asked Jesus to come into your heart. Gladness fills me because that summer you got your bible and actually read it many times and studied scripture. I thank you God for the missionaries who ministered to the children and adults and showed a little girl how to ask Jesus into her heart. The way you wrote this story is from your heart and the memories you hold in your heart, mind and soul as valuable treasures. The movement from beginning to the end was organized and nicely presented. As I read this story I felt light and very uplifted as if floating on a cloud. My heart is full of joy for the people who were ministered to through the church especially the little girl who asked Jesus to come into her heart. Rhythm: Reading your word art was a joyful, calm experience. And, each word smoothly moved me to another, sentence to sentence, and paragraph to paragraph smoothly as I floated to the end of your story.  OBSERVATION(S) The easiest color combination for me to read is black on very, very light yellow background. For people who are legally blind or have limited vision often the very dark colors are the best color choices for the font colors because they can be more easily read. Some light colors may be very, very difficult to read or completely unreadable.  QUESTION(S) How are you and Jesus today? I hope you will update information about your relationship. How did the experience of the Saturday afternoon at church just for children make you feel during each action and event? When you add emotions, feelings, and reactions to the information about the events and the characters, you add life, color, give the reader something to respond to, and help the reader better understand the events you are showing the reader.  SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: Keep writing as much as possible especially about your experiences and relationships with God and Jesus. My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you: Your ending paragraph is absolutely joy to my heart and awesome! communities,where there should be a space between the comma and the word where, see paragraph two. As children living in rural Oklahoma during World War II, we had never heard of dry ice, and we seldom had store-bought ice cream. Living in rural Oklahoma during World War II, during our childhood, we had never heard of dry ice, and we seldom had store-bought ice cream. For me changing the words and adding a few to this sentence smooths out the reading experience and give the story more color and focus on the details of the activities. Paragraph five is very nice, yet I believe with changing the arrangement of some of the words, adding a few words, and showing some emotions about what was going to happen that afternoon would bring this part of the story to life and the reader would be able to see in their minds eye what was happening. It would be more like they were watching a movie instead of reading a story. Whenever you are able to show the reader what is happening, who,when, where, why, and how, the reader is more likely to feel like they are involved with the story and not reading. This should be the goal of the writer as much as possible. I have very limited vision (legally blind), which causes me to have challenges with reading different color fonts. I do best with the very dark fonts like: hunter, navy, brown, black, and similar colors which are almost black, yet a very dark color. The blue color is not as easy for me to read and light colors are either very, very difficult or impossible for me to read.  CONCLUSION(S) Reading this story helped me recall my experiences as a child when I was going to church. My thoughts and Impressions: Thank you very much for allowing me to read and review for you. Finding your story was like finding treasure and so I enjoyed very much uncovering each nugget of precious information about your experiences leading up to you asking Jesus into your heart. I hope you continue to write inspirational stories and share them with readers. Hold onto His word and keep it in your heart for it will never be taken away from you by humankind no matter the circumstances unless you throw it away. Safe travels and many blessings.  This review is given on behalf of "Showering Acts of Joy Group"   Welcome to WDC from all of us at "Invalid Item" You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS" [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 03/03/2014 @ 11:17pm EST