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 Review #3971035 |
| Hello! It's Marci Missing Everyone and I'm here to review the story that you entered in the Blog City Fair. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  FIRST IMPRESSION: I have a phobia when it comes to heights and falling, so I couldn't even write a story for this without getting a panic attack. Trust me, I tried. So, I thought you turned a scary and awkward situation into a fun event. Way to go!  PLOT: In Myrtle Beach, we have the Sky Wheel, which has closed in gondola's, but as a young person, before the phobia set it, I rode in a couple of ferris wheels that were open. I thought that the plot on this moved right along without too much awkwardness. The initial dilemma, finding yourself stuck at the top of a Ferris Wheel is completely believable. I have seen it happen in person. The conflict, I believe, was finding a way to not be scared, but to pass the time until the Ferris Wheel started going again. The resolution was getting off the ride, and also had the benefit of meeting a nice lady in the process. I thought this was really great!CHARACTERS: The characters of Emily and Jack are quite believable. I didn't see anything that was out of place or anything that didn't work with either of them. They definitely seem compatible, and their dialogue wasn't forced or phony.SETTING/IMAGERY: One thing that I really liked is how you pointed out the scenery from up high. I'm sure the lights of the fair were quite fun to look at from up there. One time, when I was still young and dating, I went flying in a small two seat plane with a guy. We flew over Charlotte, NC at sunset. In my mind, I can picture this setting being somewhat similar, though I understand you weren't up as high.GRAMMAR/TYPOS: None that stood out to me.FAVORITE PART/LINE: "Oh-oh. Time to face the music," Emily laughed. "Jack, I don't know how to thank you. What could have been scary was really fun."OVERALL SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: I know you are limited in word count, but I would have liked to see a little bit of description of Emily and Jack. I would have been able to relate just a bit more with them. Something to think about in case you decide to do more with the story in the future.FINAL THOUGHTS: As always, live, laugh, and write! You know I love your poetry, and your short stories are fun to read as well.Thanks for letting me read your work, Marci Missing Everyone  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/28/2014 @ 4:40pm EDT