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Review #3974768
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, Marci. This review comes to you via your contest for day 6 prompt. Since Patrick is judging on creativity, you might notice a bit more color in the font and maybe some extra emoticons. Enjoy!

*Poseyp*
Overall Impression
This was a cute write that made me smile and nod my head in agreement. I never pick flowers because they die, and it's too sad to sacrifice their life for my fleeting pleasure.

*Poseyp*
Thoughts/Suggestions
The story began with an action sentence, followed by some whimsical humor. You put me at ease immediately, and I sensed yours would be a story with a calming effect. However, you threw in some tension for plot resolution and character development. Excellent!

*Vine1*
I liked the way you used abbreviations of flower names to define friends. You set the scene quickly for Susan's early demise. The phrase rolling her black eye made me smile and furthered developed Susan's and Poppy's "personality."

Great job showing life from the flowers point of view. Labeling the girl as cruel was effective and heartbreaking. As humans, we know children play such games in innocence.

*Poseyp*
Characters' names tell the reader quite a bit about the character if the author chooses wisely.
Poor Daisy and her weeping petals. It was very clever to give her a dorky boyfriend. The name Alfalfa definitely lends itself to dorky-ness.

My friend Daisy says that there is more
You don't need the word [that] in this sentence. Most of the time the word is extraneous, so it's a good idea to watch out for that little avoidable bump.

Because of the two commas and asterisk this sentence looked odd compared to the others. I thought about using an em dash, or maybe delete the commas for a cleaner look.

flowers for a, *gulp*, bouquet!
flowers for a *gulp* bouquet!

*Poseyp*
In Closing
You chose a clever way for Poppy to hide from the girl. Was it the strength of the flower's friendship that rooted them to the ground so firmly? I like the idea of friendships ensuring safety. *Check5*

This was a fun and light activity. Thanks for the opportunity to review your work! I enjoyed playing with font colors for this special review, but it's time to get back to reality.

** Image ID #1981896 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/07/2014 @ 3:09pm EDT
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