Hi Ida,
Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Write Away This Pain

First Impression: The author is expressing frustration and unhappiness in the best possible way, the joy of words.

What I liked: The author realizes in spite of the pain, life is worth living although it is hard.

What needs your attention: I would add more details to each stanza so the readers knows what is driving you to desperation.

Favorite Parts: The line I'm fighting to want my next breath. This is such a powerful image to the reader, it clearly sums the desperation and frustration the author feels and how she wants some one to show her a way to live as she needs. It is the strongest line you have in the poetry and jumps right out at you.

Overall Impression: I wish there was something I could do to make things right for the author, I am moved by the sadness and pain. It touched me as the author intended.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing.
Lyn



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .