A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]

"Invalid Item" 

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mik

This is review #11 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  . Each week, the individual members pick six items to review, or more, for group credit.

I am stopping in your port today, because I found you in a new authors list. I was eager to see what you had in your port and this caught my eye.

I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.


Though I see where you are going with the opening sentence, I would suggest a slight tweak to the wording to help smooth it out for the reader. Currently you have :
Sister means so many things, for so many different people.
Suggested alteration:
The word, Sister,can have more than one meaning, depending on the person.
By changing this, you put the focus on the word and flows easier for the reader to follow the train of thought.

~The second line should end with a comma, it is still part of the same thought of the previous sentence.


You wrote:

Sister means so many things, for so many different people.

With such an endless array of meanings, it almost becomes a living word.

Swelling with new power each time we use the title.

The poetic version I see struggling to get out for the first verse:

Sister,
the word with many meanings,
different for each individual,
coming alive
with each use

This is almost written in a poetic form, rather than as a paragraph in tribute. I say almost, due to the fact that it doesn't ring true as a poem for me. Some slight changes to the lines and formatting used, and you have a poetic tribute. Keeping in mind, poetry may not be what you had in mind, perhaps prose was the voice you were going for. I simply offer what I interpret from the item.


I think you capture the true meaning of Sisterhood with this tribute. It is well thought out and holds great power and truth.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .