Overall Impressions:

What a lovely poem to describe our mistress the Night. This produced wonderful imagery and tantalized the senses.


Form:


This complies with the contest rules and sticks with the free-verse rules linked to the contest page.


Imagery:


This poem is chocked full of imagery. You used personification to describe this nice night time scene.

The gold came pendant - the moon
Diamond studs - stars
Ebony Blue nightshirt - the sky
woodland songs and whispers in the breeze - forest sounds

Pine trees against the background of mountains hiding a lake below as a couple of birds sing a tune at night.

Beautifully done.


Favorite Parts:



I liked this stanza because it describes the scene perfectly without being overwhelming with description. The imagery was very calming and serene.

Suggestions:

My only suggestion would be to break up the first stanza a bit and spread out the description a tad. It has so much beautiful description that I think would be appreciated more with a bit of space between it, or a bit more filling to cushion it like your second stanza.

It was more telling than showing while the second stanza felt more showing because it had a bit of action (vain glances revealed...) Sprinkle that through the first stanza and it'd be even more powerful.


Additional Comments:

Despite my suggestions, I really enjoyed the imagery, it painted a beautiful picture, nicely done!

Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest!

I enjoyed reading your work and hope my review was helpful and encouraging!!!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !
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