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Review #3978425
Viewing a review of:
 Pretty Little Lines  [18+]
A poem about a girl stuck inside a world of self mutilation.
by Brian Gray
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Brian Gray . My name is Charlie and I’m happy to be reviewing your poem that I found on the "Read a Newbie" page. Thank you for sharing with us and giving me this opportunity to review. The following are just my personal opinions as a reader. I am not a professional. If you find something useful, awesome! If not, feel free to dismiss this. *Cool*



*Questiono* Title

*Infoo* I liked this title because 'pretty little lines' juxtaposes the ugliness of scars so well.


*Questionb* Subject Matter and Theme

*Infob* The poem is about a girl stuck in the cycle of self injuring. It's something that is extremely addictive, and anyone who has dealt with something similar will understand the need to continue engaging in the activity. It's an interesting thing to talk about.


*Questiong* Tone and Imagery

*Infog* I liked the imagery, particularly in the last stanza of the poem. When you talk about her sipping wine at night and adding to her collection of cuts. It's like she's in the ritualistic habit of cutting.


*Questionv* Possible Suggestions

*Infov* For me, the only part that needs work is the flow of the poem. The meter is kind of all over the place, especially in the last stanza where the lines are double or triple length. It has an AABB rhyme pattern, but doesn't follow this consistently. The first two lines of the third stanza don't rhyme at all, 'says' and 'again'. I think it will flow more smoothly if these things are edited.


*Questionr* Final Thoughts

*Infor* Overall, I enjoyed reading your poem and seeing the self destruction from that viewpoint. Thanks again for sharing with us!


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