Someone else who may be interested in helping out with an "INline review" which I believe she refers to as a line by line review, is ~A.J. Lyle~ I could be wrong, but it couldn't hurt to ask.

~Please keep in mind, when reading this, I don't look at the character as being YOU, so when I am commenting back, I am not EVER trying to be insulting or crass, I am simply trying to understand what I am reading. It is weird though, I get to actually converse with a character for once. Usually in reading, I become the character, so to get the opportunity to converse with the ACTUAL character of a story is a real treat. It opens a whole new world.

There was a lot of clothing to wash, but there wasn't a single closet or any place to put the clothes. He claimed to be able to build anything. I asked him if he could please make a closet in a barn for the clothes. He didn't want to, so I started slowing down on washing the clothes. The clothes were now starting to back up to the point that it would be difficult to catch up.
It seems odd, two years or so into the story, we are just now hearing about laundry. It fits in with the story, but I found myself, every time I read this section, asking if there was ALWAYS this much laundry, or all of a sudden there was this much laundry, or if just now you are asking about why there is so much. IF the latter is the case, then maybe at some time in an earlier chapter you should place this section. You, at that point in time, wouldn't think twice about so much laundry needing washed. Then here in this chapter, you could reflect back that now it all made sense why there was so much but if he wasn't going to do something to help out like build a storage for the clothing, then bah humbug on him...JUST TYPING OUT LOUD...

~Yeah, I've had it for years. I store all my stuff in it." I saw him take the black rolling suitcase into the shower room. (that in red is a broken link in the formatting)

~Also at this point, isn't his voice even slightly different. Surely you would have noticed a change in voice as well. I keep wondering about this. Also about this time, the "NEW TOM" wants to make sure that he isn't accused of "rape". Does that mean that she has been having intimate relations with Tom in the past? I could have missed that though and will re-read all of these chapters a fourth time before we are finished. But I feel that if Tom has been having sex with Leila, then and only then would this sentence make sense and we should have heard about this in some form (no matter how hard it may be to share). Otherwise, this part could be left out.

~WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD THE HORSES. I JUST SAW SOMETHING...
Leaving he said, "They didn't even notice."
you mean Tom's family isn't in on this? That could explain quite a bit. HOWLY COW AM I RIGHT?

~I still couldn't make a break for it because my mother wouldn't leave Dan. Her husband would throw me off the property every time I tried to tell my mom we needed to leave. (Why does your mom need to leave Dan. We the reader haven't been given the low down on what is going on here that Dan is such a threat. IF Dan isn't the threat, then he too should leave. Explain to us why MOM and you must leave Dan behind.

~The police came out and suspected him of a series of thefts in the area, I'm not sure which Tom was there at the time of the thefts,the evil Tom or this new gentler version.. Although he'd previously treated me badly and said he'd killed people, whether or not I believed him swung back and forth with his behavior. A psychopath supposedly can be very convincing. He was very convincing. A Native American sheriff detective talked to me separately and said. "Tom acts guilty of something. What is it?"

I hesitantly told him, "Tom said he is a serial killer. I haven't been able to get away. He has bodies buried in the canyon." Apparently he didn't believe me because nothing ever happened. (adding the red line pulls this into the present action of events in the timeline.

~somewhere around this chapter it might be good to mention how people can be complacent about their surroundings. Maybe that isn't the right approach...let me ramble a moment to see if you can pick up what I am trying to say...OR I CAN for that matter...

mention that, though we see each other every day, we sometimes miss subtle changes. We might dismiss a change of voice due to an oncoming cold, or yelling done the day before. The old saying, if it walks like talks like and sounds like, it must be a ... well that is how I see this situation with Tom, but not everyone else will. Mentioning something about how his voice changes and is noticed, but passed off as due to maybe an allergy to a weed in the area or too high of a pollen count, who knows. It is obvious the changes are there, but they are brushed off. For instance, a husband cuts his hair. Does the wife notice it the first time she sees him, or is it an hour, a day, or two, sometimes a week, before she comments that something is different. Same with a husband when the wife changes her hair style or color. We don't always see the subtle changes before us. We notice something is odd, different or has changed, but we can't quite see it.

Now, something else to consider. They say that all of us out there have a double, a twin, someone who looks just like us. Perhaps Tom found his early on in life, and they used it to pull off this lifelong stunt to maximize life for the both of them. It has been said, that there are actually three to five people in the world that look just like us, and that is due to our limited gene pool. I forget the statistics.

Now before you discount this theory, twins do not run in my family. Nobody in my family has twins. When my mother was 16, my father invited her to go to Boise with him, some 60 miles away from their home town. She declined due to feeling ill (ok, so later it was found out she was pregnant with me and having morning sickness, but that is another story). Long story short, dad got to Boise with a buddy and saw my mom walking down the street. He pulled over and went up to her yelling at her, only to find out, it wasn't my mom.

Years later. I lived in Oregon. My sister was home with my mom and attending school in Utah. One day my sister calls me.."oh, you are home" "I was worried. I thought you had been playing a trick on me". I asked her what she was talking about. I mean truthfully, what a way to start a conversation. As it turns out for the past month, my sister had been seeing a girl on the college campus that looked just like me. In fact, my sister had followed her a few times and the girl talked just like me too. My sister thought I was pulling some trick on her since I was suppose to be in Oregon and she was in Utah. Apparently I too had a double.

Fast forward 7 years, and this double still existed, and guess what. I was 30lbs heavier, had longer hair, styled it differently, but was now living back in nevada, right by the utah border. I was working for a grocery store that had delivery trucks that dropped off in Utah and then in Nevada. One night I had a truck driver for the store ask me how I beat him to the store. Long story short, my twin still looked and acted like me, some 7 years later, despite my physical changes. All of this, and it was such a convincing thing, that people thought I was in two places at once.

Sssssssssoooooooooooooooo you can see my theory as this. Tom found his double, or triple, early in life. In so doing, he designed this system of living. Tom was a cruel person from birth and this is why his family feared him. When he found the "Other Tom", he was in his early 20's maybe and they decided that this was a way for both of them to see different aspects of life. OK...I Know I rambled and am probably way off course. So heading on for another chapter.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .