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Review #3979937
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Bikerider
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


I saw this short piece listed on the review request page and took a look. I hope you find my comments useful.

My first thought when I read this was that Claire was either about to commit suicide, or she was writing to a dead child. It wasn't until the end of the story that I learned that Claire might just have used this 3 days in the motel to gather her thoughts.

I saw a few minor errors that are easily fixed:
The thought of continuing living this life of barely making it on your father's wages and screaming kids always pulling at my apron strings.
The thought needs to be completed. The thought of continuing living this life... does what? is what? What does the thought of living this way do to the writer?

Grabbing her hair and pulling [it] back away from her face; she reaches into her makeup back [bag] and begins to apply makeup.

And one last comment. I suggest using a larger font, this review is done with 3.5. A larger font gives your reader a better presentation of the words, sentences, and paragraphs. And it helps those of us with older eyes.

I like the premise of this story. A mother/wife needs to get away from her hectic world and her husband who apparently has a drinking problem. She dresses, and it almost seems like a little girl playing 'dress up.' The letter she writes to her daughter could be a farewell, a suicide note, or simply therapy. After three days of binge drinking, Claire goes home and acts almost as if nothing happened.

I like that there are many ways to interpret this story, it left me thinking and wondering, and isn't making your reader think about the story one of the things writers strive for?

Good story, and an enjoyable read.

Bikerider





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