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 Review #3979985 |
| Hello willy  :  I have the honor of reviewing your writing for "Simply Positive Review Forum " . Please remember I am a writer, who, like yourself, is also reviewed by her peers; therefore, I know what it feels like! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!  TITLE As I was strolling through your portfolio today searching for something to read, I came across this poem, so I thought I would take a read, and I'm very glad I did. Great choice for a title!   SPELLING, GRAMMAR, & PUNCTUATION Regarding spelling, grammar, and punctuation, I could find no errors. Good job!  POETRY FORM, RHYME, & RHYTHMThis poem is written in the quatrain form, with a rhyme scheme of a-b-a-b, which is consistent throughout. Very good job!  CHOICE OF WORDS/READABILITY Choice of words is good, which makes for good readability. When reading the poem out loud, I did not stumble or falter. I could understand the poem and it told a story, which I really enjoyed, Great job with this!  FAVORITE PARTS I enjoyed the entire poem, but let me tell you about a few of my favorite parts: *stargray* Joy skips on her mum’s arm rapt in the wide moment, - I CHOSE THIS LINE, THE FIRST LINES IN YOUR POEM, BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL, THIS CHILD IS SO APTLY NAMED, JOY. SHE IS "RAPT" IN THE MOMENT, WHICH IS WHAT JOY SHOULD BE, JOY SHOULD BE SOMETHING WHICH IS PURE IN ITS ABANDON, RAPT IN JOY, PURE AND FREE AND WILD. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL! *stargray* whose soul shines light dancing on love’s ray, - I CHOSE THESE LINES BECAUSE I LOVED THE FACT THAT YOU SAID HER SOUL SHINES LIGHT AND THAT SHE DANCES ON LOVE'S RAY. IT BRINGS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE TO MIND. I LOVED THESE LINES! PERFECT! *stargray* This child is father to the thought that we too must learn that we ought, all cares to spurn. - I CHOSE THIS ENTIRE LAST STANZA BECAUSE IT IS THE PERFECT ENDING TO THIS LOVELY POEM. VERY GOOD JOB!  OVERALL RATING/FINAL THOUGHTS I give this lovely poem an overall rating of   for its creativity, originality, and beauty. You have done a lovely job of bringing to the forefront the thought that we ought to care about here and now and not to worry so much about tomorrow because, as we all know, tomorrow may never come. We must learn to put our trust in Him who has our life in His hands. We must learn to trust in His love, in His plan for us, and know that He will be there for us, to keep us safe from harm, just as little Joy knows that He will. If only we could always live as a child lives, safe in that knowledge and trust and never have to grow up to be the worrying adults that we eventually do. Very nice job, and I would recommend this as a great read for anyone. You keep writing and I'll keep reading! Please continue to share with our community. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. I consider it an honor and a privilege! Have a  lovely  day! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .Cindy  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/23/2014 @ 5:28am EDT