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 Review #3980808 |
| (4.0)| Hello there!  I am Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH reviewing your story as a judge for the
Thanks for entering! This is a Simply positive Review.  Your story was quite an interesting take on the Journey Through Genres, travel prompt. You take the reader on an a ferry trip through the eyes of a crow, that is an animated creature, to say the least. The almost human-like qualities of the crow and the goals he set in his life of trying to improve it, was a clever spin. The fact that a flying creature even needed to use a boat to cross the water was amusing; although he explains that part, too. Thus, there was good imagery for the reader to sit back and picture the tour. Observations: "I’d received her as a tiny spiderling about three years ago, ... " It sounds like the crow was the spider. TRY: I received her when she was a tiny spider ... "My belongings rattled threateningly around the cabin, but it had all been tied down securely enough that nothing seemed inclined to fall or break." Too wordy.  TRY: Although my belongings rattled noisily within my cabin, I knew they were securely tied down.This was a fine use of the travel prompt. It had fantasy and impending adventure. I think I would have liked a little more adventure and less chit-chat with a rat that never came back to interact with the crow. I know there is a word limit, but each character needs to be developed if important enough to mention. The tarantula got a brief role, however, I could see this story being developed into a children's book, with colorful illustrations. So, please continue with this story in the future.  Good luck with the contest, and again, thanks for entering!  Regards, Web~Witch
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You responded to this review 04/23/2014 @ 1:25am EDT