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Review #3981152
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Cycle  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Everyday is Earth Day!

Hi, Andrew! Welcome to "The Earth Day Challenge review activity!


*Baretree*
Overall Impression
This entire piece worked for me. Can a rock bring comfort and a sense of timelessness? Under your pen, yes.

Even though the story (prose) was broken down into sections, it still felt as if "all in one moment, simultaneously," you engulfed with the story. On the other hand, it was the unfathomable passage of time that enchanted me. I imagined being a rock and a product of pure nature, feeling the same detachment and peace. The descriptions were bald and exposed, and once again flushed with life.

The pacing is deftly handled, mostly through punctuation and partly spacing, as the piece flows toward the conclusion.

The swift ocean currents—
The contrast between the beginning of this sentence against the end was striking. "billion-year dance" Gorgeous statement.

Closing thoughts
PARA: A million years—
All the different ways the rock was used, and the way you worded and paced that particular paragraph drew my attention. Human emotions were demonstrated through an object most think of as inanimate. I'm not sure what this makes me, but the fate of the rock was far more fascinating than the brief flash of humanity. Perhaps that was your intent?

The lengthy, last sentence in that paragraph slowed the "action" and was effective in expressing what timelessness means. Humans should be so accepting.

Expert write, Andrew! *Checkg* Why am I not surprised?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/24/2014 @ 1:28pm EDT
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