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Review #3981484
Viewing a review of:
 Ode to the Sea  [E]
This is my feeling towards the sea
by kartik
Review of Ode to the Sea  
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi kartik

My name is Ken and I'm reviewing your work "Ode to the Sea on behalf of "The Earth Day Challenge.

*Flower1* First Impression/Thoughts:
The sea has always been mysterious and magnetic. She calls, it seems, and we cannot help but answer. I think you captured those feelings nicely with this poem.

*Flower2* Creativity/Impact:
This didn't strike me as overly imaginative but, in the end, it was your feelings and reactions which I believe are unique to each of us. I did enjoy the reading which makes this a successful write.

*Flower3* Message/Theme:
The mysterious nature of the ocean is a wonderful message. I can't believe anyone who's ever seen the ocean won't relate to this. I thought that you not only heard the sea but questioned it, wondering what it could be saying to you. I found this a nice aspect of poem.

*Flower4* Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet.

*Vine1* Title: "Ode to the Sea" - My initial reaction to your title was that it was simple and direct, preparing the reader for an eloquent description of the sea. "Ode" implies exalted or enthusiastic emotion and tends to call for a lyrical write since it was originally meant to be sung. I got some of that from your poem but would have liked to see a bit more structure. The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see and serves as an advertisement to draw readers in.

*Vine1* Grammar/Wording: I thought that you used an almost classical poetic phrasing to good measure throughout such as "Oceanic blue" and "O great mystery." It helped with the emotional feel to this. I did notice that you used punctuation - that being said, verse one is a question so requires a "?" Verse 3 is actually 2 separate thoughts and should be 2 sentences. As written, it's a run-on sentence which breaks the flow.

*Vine1* Form/Flow: You tricked me. *Laugh* The first verse was rhyme but the rest was written in free verse. I was pleased to see you understood that free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. It still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic norms, or simply the use of poetic lines. That's what I look for when reading. I think you did an good job of both making this feel like poetry and flow like poetry.

*Vine1* Poetic devices: I noticed some alliteration {waxing and waning) but for the most part, you relied upon the "poetic voice" to carry your poem.

*Vine1* Emotion/Imagery: There is clearly a plaintive voice in this, almost a sadness as you question the message the sea is sending you. I think you did well, overall with keeping the emotions and theme consistent throughout.

*Flower6* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* Having spent a good deal of my life near the ocean, I could relate to this. Your appreciation for the ocean and its mysteries is clear. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2014,

Ken

Everyday is Earth Day!

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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