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Review #3981586
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of A Lark  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Flowerr*HI Mikel. Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Bird*This poem captures a lark's moment in time as he sits on a branch. I could see the image clearly.
It is a free style without noticeable rhythm. I like the two line verses each relaying a moment of the lark's revery.

In the first verse, I was a bit confused when you say "so fragile. I thought it refered to the lark as that is the subject of the line before. I think a comma after "branch" would clarify it. *Smile* It is interesting how the poem is as much about the branch as the bird.

I did wonder at what noise startled it--might add more vivid detail to show what it was.
(though we can be inspired to use our own imagination.}*Wink*

In this short poem I noticed you used "then" twice. I like the drame of the second one with "came a noise", which is an effective turn of phrase.
Line two of the second verse seems less poetic as it stands. What is the previous state?
Also, in the next verse perhaps a visual detail of what the surrounding specifically is that the lark might view. It would add more vividness like the first verse. In a poem you want to give a picture more than a telling.

I liked the simplicity of the poem which does lend apeek into this bird's eye view. *Starstruck* Well worth tweaking.

Thanks for sharing your craft and your gift for observing the natural world. *Earth*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/25/2014 @ 1:02pm EDT
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