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Review #3981786
Viewing a review of:
Earth's Poem  [ASR]
If The Earth had the words, what would she say? A poem written for Earth Day.
by Jellyfish
Review of Earth's Poem  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Everyday is Earth Day!

Welcome to "The Earth Day Challenge review activity!


*Baretree*
Overall Impression
Earth's Poem evoked varying emotions, and I liked the work and the message.

I do not write or normally review poetry, but I saw your poem here "The Earth Day Challenge and chanced a peek. What I found delighted and saddened me. The overall effect made me want to cheer and help shoulder the planet's burdens. And to weep.

*Baretree*
As the prose/poetry rolls
Beginning the poem with the honeybee theme had me nodding my head in agreement. Without the bees, the world cannot continue.

The second stanza did not generate an emotional reaction. Do elephants play a unique roll in world balance that I'm unaware of? When I read the first line, I expected the last word to be skin because elephants have thick hides. This could be a metaphor for protecting the planet's surface. How would elephants sin? I'm sorry, but the connection wasn't in this stanza.

Now, polar bear's stanza was clever. Melting glaciers is a predominant concern for the planet.

Although the dolphin's stanza's rhythm felt off, the words, and intent behind the words was poignant. I could feel the earth giving thanks, and my favorite line in that stanza was the last.

You packed a punch in the final stanza with your sharp portrayal of the planet's inner feelings. The truth was spoken, open and frank, without diluting the message.

Fine Tuning

*Baretree*
Closing thoughts
I wanted to highlight the first line in stanza five. It was like a slap in the face after reading the prior, gentle stanzas, but that would spoil the effect for the next reader. Well done!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/27/2014 @ 6:19am EDT
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