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 Review #3981863 |
 | The Springtime Melt  [E] Challenge: write poem on water without using wet, soak, rain, H2O, puddle, or water.  |
| (4.0)  HI Harry! Happy Earth Day!   I liked the title as it makes the melting process a bit or a grand event! I was interested to see how you'd describe it without using the words the prompt said not to use, like water, wet..etc. Wow! That is quite a challenge.And you acheived it with your free running river like poem. It is cool how it flows with little punctuation to pause it in its course. Great imitation of natural flowing melt down. You have created a vivid image of the melting snow as it begin upstream adn continues to its end. I enjoyed the descriptions and sounds like "bouncing, babbling conveyors" and also "sparkinng liquid", "rivultets" , "drops" as replacements for the more obvious words you couldn't use. Well done! You show good detail of where the water winds up and I like the contrast with the summer drought, that this spring water will alleviate. I am not sure you need the adverbs like "sufficiently" as you do tell us it is refilled , which implies enough, and how is is lead "safely"? The journey of the snow melt is clearly defined here complete witht he changes thar occur in streambeds, etc along the way. I liked reading the pace and breathlessness of the trip.  Thanks for sharing your craft.  Light on the path as you write on! eyestar  
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You responded to this review 05/02/2014 @ 5:34pm EDT