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Review #3981878
Viewing a review of:
Take Your Son to Work  [E]
A Bank Robber takes his son to work with him. My first attempt at dialogue
by BIG BAD WOLF is hopping
Review by Lisa Noe
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)



*Rainbowl* THIS IS A REVIEW *Rainbowr*
RAOK UPGRADE BRIGADE Group


*Sun*Title:Take Your Son To Work

*Writing*Author:BBWolf

*Smile*Type:short story

*Reading*Reviewed by:*Paw* ~Lisa~ *Cat*

*Bird*First impression:

Hello BBWolf, I am reviewing this because you requested a review, this was a good practice in dialogue writing, this was a cute little story where the bank robber brings his kid to work with him, only to be constantly interrupted by the child and when the police finally arrived the cop's son was also doing the bring you kid to work deal. very comical situation. dialogue conversation was good.

*Balloonr*What I liked most:

“Hand over the money or I’ll-“

“Daddy! Where’s the bathroom?”

“It’s over by the two security guards that I knocked out earlier.”

“Thanks Daddy.”

“Right. Now where was I? Oh yeah. Hand over the money or I’ll-“

“Daddy! Can we go for ice cream?”


*Puzzle4*suggestions:
I have no suggestions there were no mistakes.

*Telephone*In conclusion:
Thank you for sharing You keep writing and I'll keep reading, God Bless You.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/28/2014 @ 4:24pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3981878