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 Review #3981926 |
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| (4.0)  HI Ellen! Happy Earth Day! Happy 7th Anniversary!What a cool title for this vividly descriptive poem..study of the sky in all her moods. Inventive example of personification that was a delight in which to participate as a reader. Your opening call invited me in and the idea of a study is brilliant and contrasting with the artistic nature of the sky's appeal. Brillliant.  Descriptions are vivid and really well chosen for aspects of the sky in storm, sunset, etc and giving each emotional tone is effective. I like the idea of fireflies dancing to"quiet heart beat" and the anger imagery. The poem is free style and changing for like the sky itself with plenty of variety of line lengths. I think the poem could be tweaked for unecessary words like "and" that begin certain phrases eg. "And other mornings,} "other times" You can just give the emphasis to the word "other". Also the word "such" slows and decreases the potency of "clear vibrant blue". I like the direct wording without "such". "raindrops dropping" felt odd to say. The repetitive parts added coherency and it is effective where you end as you begin reinterating the theme. It gives the impression like a study/thesis/essay.  The creativity of this vibrant vision is orignal and well conceived. I am impressed with the "Swings of her moods" as you regale them. Lovely.  Light on the path as you write on! eyestar  
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