Greetings, I am one of the Earth Day Challengers and offer here my comments to your poem about Earth's bounty.

The haiku chain (which I see more as senryu due to the human interaction with and personification of the garden), is vivid in the seasonal transition from tilling the soil, to planting and harvesting, then resting

Personifying nature, i.e., 'hopeful seeds' and engaging multiple senses, i.e., the touch of 'tender tentacles' show the life that abounds in and is drawn forth from Earth.

Reading aloud, the haiku/senryu common syllable count 5-7-5 is maintained, but for 3rd line first 'season', 'sow bounteous nature' perhaps 'sow nature's bounty' would work without changing the image ??

The second 'season' - 'hopeful seeds' I don't see the subsequent image as the seeds nurturing 'nurture nourish...' but words to the effect that they are being nurtured to coax forth ??

The final two 'seasons' - that's the way I sense them, are vivid and bring full circle the wheel of life in a garden

Thank you for sharing this vivid image of Earth's bounty, which remains after the reading.


Write On
Kate
Kate - Writing & Reading





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .