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 Review #3982028 |
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| (4.0)  HI ashleys! Happy Earth Day!   I enjoy haiku and found this on the contest page. The image of the cherry blossom is vividly portrayed and is a perfect topic of haiku poem. The words flowed smoothly as the blossoms in the wind. The idea of them "sparkling" is enchanting and visual with the comparison to snow. Nice simile. It is interseting and unexpected to compare to snow. Cool!The form is correct in line, syllable and nature theme and I would drop the punctuation at the end so the blossoms can be free and boundless. The only glitch maybe is that the whole reads as one whole thought or sentence whereas haiku uses phrases so the reader can read between and beyond too. .  Still this has vibrant energy and captures a pretty moment in time. I can imagine standing under the tree and feeling the petals gently floating down. ooh I just had a thought--would "floating" be a better word than "flying" as it has a different connotaton. flying to me is fast and whirling around where as floating is gentler. Depends on what kind of awind there is. mm. so both do work. Cool how one word can give an impression. Thanks for letting me play here.  Thanks too for sharing this lovely expressive haiku.  Light on the path as you write on! eyestar  
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