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Review #3989640
Viewing a review of:
 The Vicar and the Virgin  [XGC]
A new short story.
by j.c.thomas
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: XGC | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

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This Item reviewed for House of Lannister



Review of The Vicar and the Virgin

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

What is it as an author you are needing help with? Is it a moral question or a writing problem. Generally I found the writing to be well done strong. You identified the characters and their reason for being together. I think in my experience you had the vicar give in much too quickly. Freya obviously wanted to have a sexual relationship with Grant. They didn't and she blames herself for his death. She needs to express loving and she also needs to feel punished for not giving in to Grant. You accomplish all this in this story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

You move thru the aspects of the story quickly. It was interesting that the vicar had a condom with him so they could have protected.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. spend more time in the development of the romantic aspect of the sexual high your characters are experiencing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing this is a good start.

dblameck
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/16/2014 @ 2:09pm EDT
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