My task today is to review fellow participants in The Dragon's Keep contest.

Synopsis
Antonio, a Wiccan and son of a well respected corporal, is asked by the Earl to kill the Dragon, Draconea. Using magic, a napkin, and a flurry of arrow, he slays the creature. He is rewarded with the hand of the Earl's daughter.

First Impressions:
This story was an interesting combination of old-style fantasy mixed with modern day elements.

Suggestions:

I try to give as many suggestions as possible so the writer can pick and choose anything they feel would help their story. Some of it might be from a technical point of view, like I was an editor, or they are things I simply felt as a reader, but please take it all with a grain of salt.

In General:
Is Earl a name or a position of nobility? If he's noble, he wouldn't really answer a letter 'yours' - it's very personal. I would also italicize the 'letter' in your story to set it apart from the rest of the text. But this is just a formatting suggestion and doesn't affect the story.
There were some POV changes that made it confusing and put off the flow. For a short story, maybe one POV would be better.
The language choice wavers between casual and very flowery/formal (like it had been chosen from a thesaurus). This back and forth, makes it hard to hear your 'voice'. From what I've read, your strength seems to rest in the casual side. Those were the parts I found fewer problems in. But again, that's just me.

Specifics:
“ A letter for you(,) Sir.” (comma)
Antonio was sleeping in his two-room flat, (-) a tatty house with cheap, plastered walls and colors peeling off them. (maybe a dash rather than a comma. At first, I thought he had a flat AND a tatty house. Colours peeling off was a great description but I also wondered if it was paint chips or wall paper. It's not really important to add, just made me curious)
“OMG!”, answered Antonio with popping eyes. (I wouldn't abbreviate this. 'Oh my god!' would be better, otherwise I thought he yelled the letters O - M - G. You also said that he 'answered' but the postman hadn't asked a question. Was Antonio answering himself?)
With ample exuberance he almost tore the letter to read it’s contests. (Unnecessary word that weakens the sentence)
I know (,) soldier, this might seem daunting to you but muster up young man .
If you die in any caser (caseR? case?)
Antonio was a man of strong build (,) but the letter fell (out?) of his squat fingers and dropped on the road.
His father encouraged (encouraged isn't really a dialogue tag. Use would use the father's actual words to show us he was being encouraging)
He got dazzled (Maybe 'was', 'got' sounds awkward)
A felicitous party was arranged in Paris. (this word sounds 'thesaurusized')

Favorite Lines:
Hope this letter reaches you in the pink of your health. (I had never heard this before. Interesting!)
Morning kissed the sky with its soft, mellow sunbeams. (sounds like a lovely morning)
buttermilk skin (unique word choice. I liked it!)

All in all:
The grammar in this story needs some TLC - especially commas, but there are a lot of great ideas here!

Thanks for sharing your work. Keep writing and good luck!

Robyn



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .