I enjoyed reading your story. It has so many interesting layers to it. The first is obvious, the search for a dragon keeper. Second is the concept of looking beyond appearance to what is inside the person. Lastly, the little girl followed her instincts to achieve her dream.
Some suggestions:
<<Say exactly what the last dragon keeper did.">>>>>"I heard no one really knows what he said."<<<<the ‘did’ and ‘said’ do not flow. Maybe: ‘whispered’ instead of ‘did’.
Also, a young girl would probably talk more casually. Her answer could be, “No one knows what he said.”
<<The room gasped.>> The observers gasped. (Dangerous building if the walls breathe in and out. <grin>)
<<Mara reached out and caught it with one hand, fractions before it hit the floor.>> After she caught the egg, what did she do with it?

<<It stared at her.>> Maybe: “The whelp’s diamond eyes stared back.”
<<It leaned in, flicked her cheek with a soft, pink tongue then jumped out. It spread its wings and flew into the air, gliding around the other dragons and occasionally plopping on a nest to inspect its brothers and sisters. It crawled over surfaces and explored.>> Consider revising the subject of your sentences. Each sentence starts with “It”.

Great story, thanks for letting me review this.
d.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .