Review number # 2 of week July 10-16, 2014

Hi Elisa

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Aftershock

First Impression: The horror of seeing someone die is very unpleasant and can haunt you for a very long time.

What I liked: Cradling her quaking form and praying for guidance in comforting her. After seeing what the girl saw, being held and feeling safe is so vital until she is able to find her inner strength.

What needs your attention: Nothing.

Favorite Parts: When the friend truly saw her with the paintball sized lump, making her breathing difficult. He has to put aside his own emotions and help her. He knows she needs his help and unsure how to be what she needs but he tries anyway.

Overall Impression: I felt very sad for the young woman, going for a hike was supposed to be the highlight of her day not seeing someone terribly abused and an accident, both equally traumatizing. I liked the way you did not over elaborate on the details of what she saw and focused on her fear. It was a very moving poem. I really like poems that can be read out loud, this flowed nicely.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .