Review number # 4 of week July 10-16, 2014

Hi Somehow,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and Read A Newbie Mission

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: A Pendulum

First Impression: I was curious what attracted the author to the sway of a pendulum.

What I liked: The author struggling with being not scared and scared. It is hard to face one's fears but even more frightening when one does not fear anything. That is a more dangerous situation in my opinion. Fear is a healthy and natural emotion.

What needs your attention: When a author centers his work on the page it visually says to the reader that the author feels confident about his work and is excited to share it. " to safely" would sound better as to safety. In this line, you have the word forms pluralized but with the letter a it is in singular form " appearing in a forms' Just drop the a. In this line you need the word to added "I stopped believe"

Favorite Parts: I am scared of players more than the fear of playing. That indicates to me the author is thinking more about the bigger picture than just himself. I was glad to see in the next stanza that everything paused and no new harm occurred

Overall Impression: The author made a very good attempt in writing in English it is a difficult language to master. There are some things I noted above that need fixing but overall I feel that you did a great job.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .