Review number 7 # of July 10-16, 2014 week

Hi

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and 48 Hr. Mission to Read Newbies.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Mommy through Emma's eyes. In a title all the words should be capitalized.

First Impression: My heart wept for the baby to begin her life in such a manner.

What I liked: How strongly the Mom fought for her child, and that Emma knew where her Momma was during the ordeal. That bond between Mom and child is so important.

What needs your attention:" I can still remember the day I was born so much ciaos (chaos) and sound." spelling error "My body so cold and bare ,and my heart barley (barely) had a pound. spelling error I believe wouldn't would sound better than couldn't in this line-"to try to make my mommy feel better but mommy couldn't listen." In this sentence were should be where " So here is were I lost my faith"
Another spelling error, "Yelling at the doctors to get in hear" hear should be spelled here.

Favorite Parts: Emma and Momma were both made stronger by the battle they faced together.

Overall Impression: Everyday with your daughter is a blessing. I hope you always remember that. Writing will give you an outlet whenever you find the time. I believe with some editing you can make this a stronger poem.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .