Review number # 8 of week July 9-16, 2014

Hi R J Smith

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and 48 HRS Mission to Read Newbies.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: A Day Off At The Zoo

First Impression: I loved the visual imagery created with all the animals doing things they normally would not.

What I liked: The fun portrayed from beginning to end in the poem, especially with the author just standing idly by with a set of keys. Yes, I like the first ending best.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it flows very well. I read it out loud to my granddaughter who laughed as I read about the silliness of the different animals especially cows having chocolate milk and the elephant on the couch watching tv like her Dad. I would center the poem because visually that tells the reader how confident you are in your work want to make it jump off the page to the reader with each word.

Favorite Parts: The easy connection children and adults can make with this creative poem.

Overall Impression: Excellent work.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .