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Review #4015828
Viewing a review of:
 Bound and Gagged  [13+]
Daughter gets kidnapped and father journeys to save her.
by RapunzelZWI
Review of Bound and Gagged  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, RapunzelZWI . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to be reviewing your short story that I found on the "Read a Newbie" page. Please keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your work better than anyone else. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this completely. *Cool*


*Camera* First Impressions

I think the title is good and catches the reader's attention. That, coupled with the description, made me want to read more. I think it's dramatic enough to hold our interest.


*Buttonplay* Subject Matter

This story is about a man named Mr. Jackson who receives a letter in the mail demanding fifty thousand dollars for the safe return of his daughter from kidnappers. Their relationship was never that good, but he has to save his daughter, so he sets out to steal from restaurants in order to raise the money. The end has an interesting twist that caught me off guard.


*Gears* Character and Story Development

There is some character development because we know that the daughter never returned her father's love for her. There could definitely be more in the way of development in both the characters and story, but everything makes sense and we know all we need to know to get the full story.


*Thumbsup* What Worked

I really like the ending to this story. Not everything has to have a happy ending and I'm glad you went for something that was a little on the darker side. I wasn't sure how it was going to end and I was happy you didn't take the easy way out and just make it all sunshine and rainbows.


*Questionbl* Could Use Work

The main thing that stood out to me in this story is that it keeps switching from first to third person. That may be the intended style of it, but it trips me up as I'm reading. I also noticed that we're told everything that happens without any imagery or details. It would be awesome if we could find a way to show the reader the story as it plays out. As it is now, it always feels like getting a quick summary of a crime story. You have a great plot with a twist ending here, flesh it out and expand on it! Let us get to know the characters and their relationships better.


*Peace* Final Thoughts

I believe in this story. I think you have a good one here. I hope that you choose to expand on it and show us the story as it's playing out. Thanks again for sharing with us!




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/15/2014 @ 7:20pm EDT
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