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Review #4016146
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Hello there, JMRobison*Confettib* Congratulations on your promotion to Preferred Author! *Balloony*
THis is a Simply Positive Review. *Coffeeg*


I enjoy those 55 word contest entries. I've tried my hand at it a couple times, myself. *Vine2*

*Magnify* The premise is to be able to convey a story with sufficient imagery so the reader can be satisfied.

Your story had the requisite beginning, middle and end. However, I pictured action and adventure packed into these few lines. Also, the tense moment of a possible horror story was evident.

Well done!

Observation:

"his eyes fixed on her trembling little frame."
I don't get the trembling part, since it's obvious the little girl knows the "monster" and was just teasing it because it couldn't reach her.

I realize you are trying to extend the mystery of its identification, but the reader doesn't want to feel that the word is "off," in this situation. (knowing the next line.)

*Idea* TRY: diminutive young frame. Just a slight switch gives you the diminutive over "small" which is a stronger word, and it confirms she is young. It also keeps within the word count. Just my opinion, though.

*Tagp* The one word that gave me pause, didn't take away from the imagery of the story. Writing a 55 word story is not an easy job. That I know from experience. So kudos to you! *Starv*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch





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