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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4017984
Review #4017984
Viewing a review of:
The Wardrobe   [18+]
My first ghost story
by Rusty
Review of The Wardrobe  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Rusty

Congratulations on being placed First in the contest. I am sure you will have more to engage the readers.
Your premise is good, the new owner moving into a new house, which doesn't mean a newly constructed house but an old one, resold. The new owner seems to be rightly pleased about the lay out and the interior of his "dream house".

The horror element-
You created the horror of seeing a ghost pretty impressively. The most important of the symbols you used are in the girl's face. Absence of the underlip, the yellowed teeth and a veiny face do create horror.

I like the way you merged reality and dream so the owner is not sure of either. Yet she is made to think of moving again, I am sure. The little girly ghost must have taken to haunt the wardrobe, hence the title I guess.

I have enjoyed reading the story.

Write on!
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