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Given: Jul 20, 2014 at 12:06am
Length: 859 Characters |
858 w/o WritingML
Hello Rusty
Congratulations on being placed First in the contest. I am sure you will have more to engage the readers.
Your premise is good, the new owner moving into a new house, which doesn't mean a newly constructed house but an old one, resold. The new owner seems to be rightly pleased about the lay out and the interior of his "dream house".
The horror element-
You created the horror of seeing a ghost pretty impressively. The most important of the symbols you used are in the girl's face. Absence of the underlip, the yellowed teeth and a veiny face do create horror.
I like the way you merged reality and dream so the owner is not sure of either. Yet she is made to think of moving again, I am sure. The little girly ghost must have taken to haunt the wardrobe, hence the title I guess.
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