%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4018168 |
 | Jabrina and Millicent: Act One  [18+] Two women and a question of love. 1300 words  |
| (4.5)| Hi DyrHearte writes ,I decided to visit your port since it's your day today. I came across this really enjoyable story that I reviewed. Feel free to disregard any comments since tey are my personal opinions. Plot and characters: I liked that that most of the story was written from Jabina's point of view. This made me understand her feelings and thoughts. It also showed me her reluctance. Through Millicent's reactions and words, I saw her desire. I didn't feel like I was missing anything on Millicent's side. Both women were emotional and passionate about each other. I found that real since that's how women usually are. Setting: I saw a bit of their room, the night, floral scent, trees. I thought it was a very romantic setting. Sizzle: You took time to show what each of them felt as they touched. It was hot and steamy  .Grammar: I didn't spot any mistakes. Areas for improvement: I had a bit of a problem knowing who said what after dialogue. For instance, who said these lines- “I do love touching you.” “You move exquisitely.” I enjoyed this story. Well written! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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You responded to this review 07/20/2014 @ 8:16pm EDT