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Review #4018408
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of The Lover  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Stuart . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to be reviewing your poem that I found on the "Please Review" page. Please keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your work better than anyone else. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this completely. *Cool*



*Buttonplay* First Impressions

I like the title and description. It's especially funny after reading the poem. It definitely hit the spot for us romantics. *Laugh*


*Thumbsup* What I liked

I liked all the word play with the names. It was humorous and an interesting way to talk about the trial and error of quick relationships. My favorite stanzas was the last one where we didn't even go there. It was a good way to close out the poem instead of just having it end on one of the random name wordplays. I also liked the lighthearted tone and mood of your poem.


*Skull* What Could Use Work

For me, the biggest issue was the rhythm. I couldn't get a hang of the flow at all, so I ended up just reading the couplets like standalone sentences using wordplay on people's names with character flaws. There were stanzas that were less strong than the others, like stanza five. The word play in that one was good, but the line "What a shock, just too lascivious" seemed weak compared to the rest of the lines.


*Peace2* Summary

Overall, I enjoyed reading your poem and thought it was unique. There's room for expansion and improvement on the flow especially. Thanks again for sharing with us.




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/22/2014 @ 12:37pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4018408